Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Because Sometimes, Flawed is Perfect

Sometimes I think what I’m doing here is wrong.

Those of you who are reading this are probably our loyal readers. You see what I write, how I am, where I’m going (or trying to go at least).

And that’s me. It is. But most of the time, I’m manipulating you. I’ve been manipulating every single one of you since the first time you read a word of my writing. For some of you, that was 17 years ago, others, 17 seconds ago. In my writing I show you my best self. Polished, put together, witty, charming, awkward in all of the places it’s totally appropriate to be awkward. I’m edited. And in the world we live in, that’s ok. But it really isn’t.

Who we are is so glamourized, manipulated, and for some people falsified. And it’s not at all difficult to manipulate people into believing that these “selves” are the real ones. I filter my life whether by editing my words, wearing makeup and the perfect outfit, or very literally putting a filter on my photos to make my life some beautiful, perfectly well lit thing that it quite frankly isn’t.

There are people I have encountered that have applauded me for seeming so put together. I’m like some tiny little gift box wrapped in gilted, glitzy paper with a pretty bow. Or at least I try to be. I work endlessly to make the contents of that beautiful box just as substantial and beautiful as the wrapping. But if you take a second to look closely, there are small tears, flaws in the paper, a corner folded improperly. Sometimes, the box is empty.

As badly as I want to be perfect, to be everything people expect from me, I can’t. I spend so much time on this blog telling you, my readers, what to do on social media, how to brand yourself, that taking risks is important, that making time for people is a must…and I don’t even have it all together myself.

So, why all of the sudden have I plunged myself into making this confession, solving my moral dilemma? I don’t know. The idea of coming clean about the discrepancies between who I am to me and who I am to the world popped in my head in the shower. Fitting, no? I feel like it’s time that we all become a little more real. To realize there’s wayyyy more to the story than anyone is willing to tell you. To realize that we’re canceling out our negative thoughts and traits so much that we’re suffocating them and eliminating them. But those are the things that make us real, that make us dynamic, that provide us with the stories and tools to teach people to be better, to be honest.

With this post comes a promise. A promise to be more real, more understanding, less manipulative, less judgmental, and flawed. Because sometimes, flawed is perfect. 



No comments:

Post a Comment